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Subject: Cajt Malti

2007-10-21 19:39:01
10x mela hekk ridt jien..almenu miniex wahdi hehe :p
(edited)
2007-10-22 00:02:42
Fekruna riedet tara film pornografiku u marret go Cinema gewwa il-Belt. Izda tal-bieb qallha: 'Le inti ma tistax tidhol hawn ghaliex hawnhekk hniezer biss jidhlu!'
Il-fekruna kif semghet hekk harget barra tibki u tolfoq. Hekk kif kienet qieghda tibki inzerta ragel diehel gewwa ic-Cinema u staqsiha x'gara. Hekk kif semgha x'kienet il-problema dan qallha:'Tinkwieta xejn, issa ndahhlek mieghi.'
Dan fil-pront fetah iz-zipp tal-qalziet, dahhal il-fekruna hemm, u mar gewwa ic-Cinema. Hekk kif pogga bil-qieghda, dan fetah iz-zipp tal-qalziet u l-fekruna harget biex tara l-film.
Mela bil-qieghda hdejn dan ir-ragel poggiet tfajla u n-namrat taghha. Din it-tfajla f'nofs il-film qalet lil mahbub, Gann, dan li hawn bil-qieghda hdejja, qieghed bih barra. Fil-pront qabez Ganni u qallha: 'U ghaliex dan l-ghageb kollu? Tieghi mhux ukoll qieghed barra?'
'Iva qaltlu t-tfalja, imma d-differenza hi li tieghek mhuwiex jikolli it-Twistees!'
2007-10-22 00:03:50
Mela...Omm zejtunija marret izzur lil bintha li kienet ghadha kif izzewget. Sabitha gharwiena huta u l-omm li xejn ma hadet gost b'din il-merhba staqsiet lil bintha ghaliex kienet qieghda tilqaghha b'dan il-mod daqshekk sfaccat. Il-bint, minghajr m'nkwetat xejn irrispondietha..ghaliex irrid nilqa lil zewgi bil-libsa tat-twelid.
L-omm bhal speci ghogbitha l-idea u x'hin marret id-dar iddecidiet li taghmel l-istess bhal bintha. F'kemm ili nghidlek nezghet kollox u qaghdet bis-sabar kollu tistenna lil zewgha jasal lura d-dar.

X'hin wasal ir-ragel id-dar xejn ma skanta kif sab lil martu minghajr ilbies u staqsieha x'gara. Din wegbithu li riedet tistennieh bil- libsa tat-twelid. Ir-ragel pront pront wegibha.."stajt almenu ghaddejtha"
2007-10-22 00:05:20
Dal-Hamruniz, jismu Pawlu Mifsud, kien jghix wahdu hu u l-kelb, Fabju. Wara hafna snin flimkien, il-kelb miet. Pawlu difen il-kelb fil-gnien u mar ghand il-Kappillan.
"Dun, il-kelb ghaziz tieghi, Fabju hallina, miskin. Tista’ taghmilli quddiesa ghalih?"

Il-Kappillan skantat, wiegeb: "Jiddispjacini Pawl bil-mewt tal-kelb tieghek. Imma sfortunament ma nistghux naghmlu quddies ghall-annimali fil-knisja. Pero’ jekk titla’ sal-Belt, hemm knisja protestanta u ghandu mnejn jaghmlulek xi haga."

"Immur issa stess" wiegeb Pawlu, "Tahseb li mitt lira ikunu bizzejjed ghas-servizz?"

Minnufih il-Kappillan: "Ghax m’ghidtlix li l-kelb kien Kattolku?!"
2007-10-22 00:06:01
Zewg dubbiniet Zabbarin bilqeghda paxxuti fuq hmieg ta' kelb! Wahda titlaq bassa... L-ohra imqazza titkaza biha: "Jekk joghgbok, ftit manjeri... mhux qed tarani niekol? Gharukaza!......"
2007-10-22 00:06:29
Kont qed nitkellem ma' dal-qassis mill-Hamrun. Saqsejtu jekk hemmx xi qaddis Malti!
"Mela le? Ahna l-Maltin, ilhu hafna li ghandna qaddis. U famus hafna! Jismu "San Fottik"
2007-10-22 00:06:55
Omm: "X'qal missierek meta ghidtlu li int tinsab tqila?"
Tifla: "Tridni nhalli d-daghwiet u l-kliem hazin?"
Omm: "Naturalmet!"
Tifla: "Xejn."
2007-10-22 00:09:00
tajba man lolllll,
2007-10-22 00:11:20
Mela darba kien hemm Mary u Peter li kienu ilhom mizzewwgin, u kif kulhadd jaf fid-dar dejjem jinqala xi hsara. Kif Peter kien sejjer ix - xoghol Mary marret fuqu u qaltlu li kellhom il-vit tal- kcina jqattar.
Kif sema hekk dar fuqha u qalla, " Mela int hsibtni xi Plumber!!" Hekk kif kien sejjer daret fuqu u qaltlu, "Peter inqatet il-bozza tal-Linfa"

Dlonk dar fuqha u qalla , "Mela hsibtni electician!!"

Fil-hamsa ta` fl-ghaxija Peter gie lura mix- xoghol u jsib il- bozza mibdula u l-vit tal-kcina mibdul.

Peter staqsa lil Mary u din qaltlu, "Mela kien hemm Joe ta` hdejna gie u ghamilhomli miskin. X`hin lesta imbaghad ghidtlu xi jrid tax-xoghol u qalli. 'JEW TAGHMILLI GATEAUX JEW ITTINI NEJKA ??????'

Dlonk Peter kuntent kuntent qalla, "mela int ghamiltlu gateaux????"

Qabzet Mary, u qaltlu, " MELA INT HSIBTNI XI DULCIERA"
2007-10-22 00:13:37
George, from Qormi, was on his way to the Income Tax department all dressed up in his one and only suit. As he walked along Republic street a friend hailed him. On being told where he was going, the friend said: "You must be mad going all dressed up they'll think you're a bloody millionaire and you'll get fucked right away!" So George returned home and got into his dirtiest jeans and work shirt. Again on his way down Republic Street he met another old buddy who told him " you must be an idiot going there with the idea they're idiots, everybody knows you and how well you earn! the minute they see you so scruffily dressed they will suspect something and you'll be fucked good and proper." So George went ho me and arrived simultaneously with his wife. He explained how worried he was because however dressed he went to the Income Tax he was going to get fucked anyway.
The wife said "Reminds me of when we got married"
"Why?" asked George
"Because as I tried out the various silk negligees on the previous day, my Mum told me: don't bother dear, you're going to get fucked anyway, whatever you wear tomorrow!"
2007-10-22 00:14:23
Mela kien hemm Alfred Sant u Eddie Fenech Adami fuq helicopter. F'daqqa wahda tinstema spluzjoni u l-helicopter jibda niezel f'daqqa. Il-pilota avzahom li ma setax jikkontrolla il-helicopter u qalilhom li ahjar jibdew jitolbu. Eddie u Fredu mill-ewwel intefghu gharkubtejhom u bdew jitolbu. F'hin minnhom Eddie beda jinstema jidhaq kemm jiflah. Fredu hares lejh mistghageb u qallu:
'Mela inti mignun? Dalwaqt ser immutu u qed tidhaq dan id-dahq kollu!' Imma Eddie kien pront wiegbu:
'Ghax ha nghidlek. Kont qed nitlob u nitkellem m'Alla u qalli li ha jerfaghna minn xagharna!!'
2007-10-22 00:15:10
Bertu minn Hal-Qormi mar jaghmel zjara ‘l-qraba joqghodu Florida. L-ghada li wasal ried jghum ftit imma haseb li ahjar jiccekkja jekk hemmx alligators.
"Le, m’hawnx gators f’dal-bahar" assigurah Karmnu, l-kunjat, (li ma tantx kellu grazzja ma Bertu).
Allura Bertu gham daqsxejn il-barra qabel ma gietu f’mohhu li jerga’ jiccekkja ftit. "Ejj, Karm, "ghajjat lill-kunjat, "da kif m’hawnx alligators f’dawn l-inhawi?"
"Ghax jibzu mix-sharks," ghajjatlu Karmnu.
2007-10-22 00:15:26
-- X’inhi d-differenza bejn basla u kitarra?
-- Hadd ma jxerred dmugh meta taqsam kitarra.
2007-10-22 00:16:23
Mintoff dahal ghand barbier l-Isla u saqsa l-barbier biex jaqtaghlu xahru. L-Barbier minnufih waqaf min dak li kien qed jaghmel, pogga l-Mintoff fuq siggu u t-trimjaghlu l-erba xahariet li fadallu. Wara xi saghtejn, dahal Karmenu u kif rah l-barbier dar fuq in-nies li kienu qed jistennew u saqsihom jekk jimpurtax li Karmenu jaqbez il-Queue. Ovvjament l-hanut kien mimli laburisti u dawn accettaw bla problemi.
Il-povru barbier inqabad bix-xoghol, u f'xis-sitta ta' filghaxija kien ghadu ghaddej bla nifs.Fil-pront dahal Fredu u saqsih jekk jaqtalghux xahru malajr ghax kellu l-parlament. Il-barbier bir-rawgha f'halqu dar fuqu w qallu "Issa z-zejjed kollu zejjed, jekk trid halliha hawn u ghaddi ghaliha wara l-parlament" !!
2007-10-22 00:17:33
"Haga li ma titwemminx grat illum" qalet Mostija lir-ragel wara li dahal mix-xoghol, "l-arlogg pendlu waqa fl-art... kieku waqa ftit wara, ommi kienet tiehdu fuq rasha! Bix-xorti!"
-- "Dak l-arlogg minn dejjem zamm lura... X'hasra!" gerger ir-ragel.
2007-10-22 00:18:28
Who enjoys sex more? Men or women?
Women, of course...!!!
Look at it this way: when your ear itches and you put your little finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better - your ear or your finger?